3 signs you're a toxic co-worker

If you were toxic to your workplace, would you even know it? Research shows the answer is probably not.

That is because there is very little overlap between the way we think we are coming across and the way others see us, according to the Harvard Business Review.

Here are three ways people inadvertently lead others to perceive them negatively, and ways to avoid them.

1. You come across as cold. It is human nature to assess the threat others may pose by evaluating how warm they seem. Deciding whether or not you seem friendly, attentive and empathetic is one of the first things people use to form their impressions of you. People who are perceived as warm are seen as more helpful and are often given the benefit of the doubt when their behavior is out of line. However, at work, the goal of projecting competence often leads people to neglect projecting warmth, according to the report.

The solution? Make a conscious attempt to listen to others, make eye contact to convey you are listening, project interest in the things people say and, most importantly, smile.

2. You seem selfish. Even if it's not true, if you give the impression you think "it's my world, and you're just living in it," your co-workers will likely see you as toxic. This negative mindset can be conveyed even if you're just really concentrating on the work in front of you. While you may feel like you're dedicating everything you have to your job, others might see you as micromanaging, hoarding work or unable to collaborate, according to the report.

The solution? Take the time to think about how your co-workers might perceive your actions and behaviors. Show you respect and value them by showing empathy and asking questions to learn more about them.

3. People think you take the rules too seriously. Surprisingly, a third common trait among toxic employees is the belief that the rules must always be followed. Sometimes, rules that govern how work should be approached and executed can be excused or ignored if it helps someone reach a larger goal. Individuals who cling to the rules and try to force others to — even when the rules inhibit productivity — may be seen as irritating and even an obstacle. In some circumstances, what may seem sensible and responsible to you could potentially undermine your team, according to the report.

The solution? Try to be more flexible about the rules, "particularly the ones that are neither unethical nor illegal to break," according to the report. When it is necessary to stick to the rules, make sure to explain to everyone else why they are important and how adhering to them can help the team.

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